Hey baby instead of going to the gym why don’t you come here and pump some of my iron?Hey I’m about to open a Good Old Fashioned Can of Redneck ‘Whoop Ass’ on you boy.Look doll face I can’t go out with you I am in a serious relationship, so just try and get over me, I know its hard but you’ll find someone else.Ok, So I LIED!Excuse me do you think you could take your dick out of my wife?All I know is she grabbed a hold of my ‘Hog Leg’ and it went off!You’re lower than whale shit at the bottom of the deepest point of the ocean.I hate new ‘Parents.’ There you are trying to have your morning wake coffee and some asshole is flashing their kids picture in your face. Only they think there child is cute the rest of us think they are Fucking UGLY!The bad news is your son got caught giving the entire football team blowjobs, and he’s queer as a three-dollar bill. The good news is .. wait a minute there is NO good news!Remember, a bitchin' U.S. Marine is a happy Marine!Women I can’t figure them, one day you’re the greatest thing in their miserable existence they call lives, and the next day they throw you ought and you’re the biggest asshole on the planet.Look girl if you want to suck my dick all you have to do is ‘Say So.’For those of you who are optimist that gun toting asshole climbing through your window is not a criminal but a person misunderstood. For us pessimist, he’s an armed burglar about to meet his maker.I just tried sex in the broom closet at work. You can shove the mop handle up her ass while she’s giving you a blowjob.Move over ‘Horse’ let a scared man run who knows how to run.Sure whatever you say I am just here for the beer.I can’t be happy I am married with children.Where have all the good-looking women gone to?Did you forget, REALTORS SUCK.You better back way the fuck up or I am gonna to put the ‘Whammy’ on your ass!The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it."I'm busy. You're too fucking ugly. Have a nice day.Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use itWoman Mr. Penis is lonely suck me off now and I will gladly buy you a hamburger next Tuesday.Of course I don't look busy ... I did it right the first time.Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT THE FUCK UP!Don't piss me off...I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares!I don’t believe in miracles. But I do rely on them.Caution: Next mood swing in 6 minutes.I hate everybody and you're next.I used to be schizophrenic, but we're both OK now.Bummer: All stressed out and no one to choke the shit out of.I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not!Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. But in your case I am about to make an exception.I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a fuck.I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?I'll have my people fuck your people.It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
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