Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Jack says, "Understand This ..."

1 comment:

I Love To Insult People said...

Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

Do I look like a freakin' people person to YOU?

Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

Better living through denial.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed it.

Back off! You're standing in my aura.

Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?

I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

Everything I need to know about life I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains. Any questions?

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

Gene Police!!! Get out of the pool!

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?

100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest? Huh just shows what swimmers are really made of doesn’t it?

Your gene pool needs a lot of chlorine.

My new self designer shirt .. I just splash on some Ragu.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.

You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT Mascot.

Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!

Grow your own dope, plant a man.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

The more you complain the longer God makes you live.

Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

Sir, Please tell your pants it's not polite to point.

Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

Boldly going nowhere.

Death by CHEESE!

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

The proctologist called, they found your head.

Just because your head is pointed, doesn't mean you're sharp.

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

If you can stay calm, while all around you are is chaos ... then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation that the guy with GUN means to kill us all … You Fuckwad!
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you real job security.

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

Plagiarism saves time.

If at first you don't succeed, try management.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

TEAMWORK: means never having to take all the blame yourself.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

We waste time so you don't have to.

Hang in there retirement is only thirty or forty years away!

Go that extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.