I would rather go hunting with Dick Cheney than ride in a car driven by Ted Kennedy.Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb.The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.Are you coming on to me or having a seizure?I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the fucking size.This is a mean, fucking cruel world and I want my nappy and medication right now!Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside...Earth is full. Go home.Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.Join the Marines, meet lots of interesting people, then kill them.You look like shit. Is that the style now?Damn tootin I've been naughty! Now spank my evil firm sexy butt!Mommy, I wanna grow up to be a neurotic bitch just like you.It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?Just smile and say "Yes, Master."How many times do I have to flush before you go away?Faster, faster, please the master!One of us is thinking about sex... OK, it's me.Mommy I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.
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