Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Andy Rooney says, Wish I'd Thought of These

1 comment:

Jack, The Almighty Great One said...

I bet that’s the first time you ever said ‘I Love You’ fully clothed.

Hey sweetheart how would you like an ‘Organ Transplant?’

Once a putz always a putz.

You just can’t open the book to my life and jump right into the middle.

I see you have a compulsion to brown nose so why don’t you relax and take a load off your knees.

Lets go back to my place for a gangbang. It will be you, me, myself, and my penis.

Sorry I am beyond rational thought.

So your dumb ass daughter must be sucking a lot of cock to get those grades.

Golf, the sport of dumb asses. After all who in their right mind would hit a ball then go chase it?

So your daughter attended the Police Cadet Class, she was the graduation toy.

You filthy stinking commie pinko’s.

Well look at her the little bimbo that could!

Hey girl my giant penis is throbbing why don’t you suck it and make it all better?

Excuse me can I borrow your pocket to take a piss?

If I had a child as dumb as yours I’d go home and punch my wife right in the mouth.

Girls tattoos aren’t just for whores and rock stars anymore, so if you love your man, run and get his named tattooed on your butt!

Half a brain or halfwit what’s the difference?

Faith that’s where you believe in something you cannot prove, has no scientific fact or meaning, and only someone either on drugs or is irrational would contemplate doing.

A military uniform isn’t what attracts the woman, it’s the fact you been trained to obey commands and eat crap.

Hey would you like to suck my enormously oversized dick?

So for the next 30 minutes how would you like to be the object of my affection?

Whatever floats your boat.

Hey I hear the only way your daughter can find her way out of a College Frat House is to yell she’s pregnant then they kick out into the alley.

I couldn’t possibly discuss it in your condition.

Ah the hell with it let’s just bomb Mecca.

My dick is so big I have to put on Ear Muffs just so I don’t hear her scream.

I bet your feet turn the corner a half hour before you do.

It must have been a sexy night for you last night, was your wife wearing her good robe?

Ah children, you can dress them up but you can’t take them out !!

Did somebody give you a wedgie or do you always look like that?

Baby your thing is my thing but my thing is every girl’s thing.

Girl the only way I will marry you is if you get my name tattooed on your ass!

Wanna smell my finger?

Well if it isn’t toad face.

I’m so happy I could just SHIT!

I see you’ve made a complete ‘U’ turn on the evolutionary process.

Bumi Muslim Malays are ugly useless tree swinging baboon fuckers !!

Go away you little frat house toy.

That guy’s so horny he jerks off watching the animated movie the ‘Little Mermaid.’

Girl the Grand Canyon doesn’t compare to your butt crack !!

To ALL Muslims everywhere, Eat Shit and Die !!!

If you’re working as a shoe salesman remember never look up a fat woman’s dress.

Hey I had a lot of fun pissing on your wife last night.

Is there any truth in the rumor that Gay daughter of yours has anal warts?

My favorite Muslim is the one I can see their eyeballs coming out a buzzard’s ass.

May a 1,000 pigeons crap all over your car.

Hey baby how would you like to go back to my place for a thorough semen shower?