Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Arnold Schwarzenegger

"I'll terminate you if you don't read Jack's Daily Insults."

1 comment:

I'll Be Back said...

Baby, how about I yodel in your valley?

Yeah, go put that in your German Fahrevergnuegen you Krout bastard.

I don’t ‘Care.’ I didn’t care yesterday and I will care even less tomorrow.

Anyone who would sit on the Board of Directors of a Home Owner Association (HOA) is either a con artist, a scum sucking REALTOR, an idiot, a power hungry maniac, or an asshole. I am sure you know who and what you are, now please go piss off!

Hey have you fucked a midget lately?

Remember ladies Mr. Penis is your friend.


Personally when I die I want to be buried face down so the world can kiss my ass!

Bitchin, simply just bitchin.

Hey you don’t mind telling your whore to go into the other room why us men talk now do ya?

Tattoos are the perfect way for ‘Criminals’ to be caught. Why don’t you get one on your fucking forehead that says, “I Did It, Please Arrest Me.”

Hey that’s not even a real smile, that’s just your teeth playing with my mind.

Girl if you lick my asshole I’ll be eternally grateful. I won’t marry you but at least I’ll remember your name in the morning.

Come on let’s blow this Taco Stand.

Girl with those long legs, wrap them around my head and I’ll shove my tongue inside your twat of gold.

Hey little girl do you want to sit on my face I can breathe through my ears.

Hey that’s Dr. Dickweed to you fella!

Hey thank your daughter for me for that blowjob last night.

She said my cock was so big and it hurt so much she almost swallowed her tongue.

Remember the Answer Man knows all!

Look moron if you shit in one hand and spit in the other you’re on your way to really having something.

Look girl if you really love me you’ll tattoo my name on your ass.

I’ve been poked and prodded by so many doctors I feel like a whore after a busy Friday night.

She’s so small I’d like to put her legs behind her neck, sit her on my cock and spin her around like a top.

Death, dumb, and blind the perfect woman.

Protected SEX where’s the fund in that?

Baby I’d sure like to butter your muffin.

Lady in the absence of any commonsense just suck my dick whenever you’re confused.

Get an old broad they never say no, but remember to have her take her teeth out and put them on the dashboard before she blows you.

A wise MONKEY never monkey’s with another monkey's MONKEY that is UNLESS HE'S KING KONG!

To All You ‘Gothic’ nuts out there in la la land. Instead of spending all that time and money on make-up I’ll give you two black eyes which should last about a week, when they wear off, I’ll give you two more.

Ok who wants to be whore for a day?

Look ‘Guys’ if you meet a girl that has a pierced tongue and pussy; you should realize at least a hundred guys have had her before you can even think about asking her name.

Hey I have your sister’s dirty used panties do you think she wants them back?

You know you’re addicted to Internet Porn when you live alone and take Viagra just before turning on your computer.

If you’re looking for your sister we told her to get some school spirit. So she went over to the other school and fucked the entire football team until they couldn’t walk. We should win easily this Sunday thanks to her.

Whipped cream, strawberries, and cheerleaders sounds great to me.

Hey if I had to describe your daughter’s ass with one word, that word would be ‘Magnificent.’

Love is free, but marriage is bankruptcy in the making.

Who’s turn is it to wear the ball gag?

I’d really like it, if your wife would bring those big tits of hers over hear and was my car with them.

This is a panty inspection, immediately surrender your panties to me.

I’m the Earl of Funk the Jack of Jive come on baby bring me your beehive.