Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Archie Bunker

"If you don't find Jack's Daily Insults funny then you are a 'Meat Head."

1 comment:

sloopy wet raseberry to you all said...

Remember we the working man work for the MAN!

The statue of Liberty no longer reads "Bring us your tired, your hungry, your huddled masses..." 
Now she's holding a baseball bat and it reads "Bring It On Bitch."

It’s all over the world now, everyone knows Osama bin Laden, Your dick is so small you piss on your nuts.

Baby lets go to my place and I’ll teach you how to play penis golf a game where you put the driver into the hole on the first swing.

Can someone tell me what wine goes with Captain Crunch cereal?

Muslim men make the best transvestites.

Sometimes you feel like you wanna FART sometimes you don’t!

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the 3 most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.'

Reminds me of something my Grandpa used to say, “I'm gonna go upstairs now and fuck your Grandma!"

Hey remember if you eat crayons your poop with be colored.

When a Muslim can’t use his AK47 he’s having a bad day.

Excuse me boss but sometimes I am prone to random bursts of productivity.

Hey remember guys never masturbate when eating Cheetos it will turn your cock orange.

My motto is, 
“If the Cop didn’t see it, I didn’t do it!”

It’s amazing after all these years my BALLS are still together.

You gotta love Tom Cruise, he’s such a little bitch.

Can I cum in your panties and leave them on my bedpost overnight?

Hey if you can’t remember to wash you hands after taking a whiz I can’t remember to buy the next round.

Baby what do you say I polish up my Q stick and drop in your rear pocket?

If the New Crusades are starting: Lets bomb MECCA now!

Remember if you find a Holy Koran wipe your ass with it and return it to its Muslim owner, after all it’s not yours.

I know you think she’s HOT but would you lick her shower drain?

Difficult decision Pigmy Fucking or Pissing on a Muslim. Hell I think I’ll have a great day and do both!

Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.

Fuck for free you’re a WHORE fuck for money you’re a Prostitute – I hope ladies I have made this clear.

One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the damn questions.

I take my hat off to the guy who can juggle having a wife, a mistress, and a girlfriend.

Her ‘TITS’ are so big if she turns too quickly she could put someone’s eye out!

Next time she says she has a headache tell her you’re not going to fuck her head.

Redneck Zone: If you’re older than eight enter at your own risk.

The next time you tell me your pussy hurts just bend over, grab your ankles and I will fuck you up the ass.

So you have something in your eye, would you like me to operate on it with my mechanical pencil?

Remember Home Owner Associations (HOAs) SUCK!

There’s an odor in the air, either we are close to a whorehouse or a fish market.

ISLAM, it’s Ramadan time again, come on over to my place I’m having greasy fat Pork BBQ and ice cold beer everyday of your worthless ass wipe holiday.

Your wife must be either made of sugar or shit because flies just follow her ugly ass around all day long!

Muslims convert now before it’s too late!

There’s no right age to have SEX but considerate children wait until there parents are dead!

Hey I see your daughter went out on a double date, it was her and two guys.

I became a leg humper and butt sniffer ever since I learned my DOG could get away with it.

Since you children seem to think you know everything about life, please pack your bags and get out now before you suddenly grow old like your parents and become ‘Stupid.’