Sunday, October 7, 2007

Sun Tzu says, I am great but Jack is greater

1 comment:

Mr. Jack said...

Hey baby, come back to my place and I’ll see if I can find the combination 
to your love safe.

I learned quickly in life that just because a girl is named Mary doesn’t mean she is a virgin.

Look lady if you want me to lick chocolate syrup off your naked body would you mind cleaning the fuzz out of your naval first?

Lady sex with me is so good that even the neighbors have a cigarette.

Just because I have a big cock is no reason for your to run and hide.

When the Catholic Priest said you where a good boy was that before or after he took his cock out of your ass?

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every damn minute of it.

I used to have a handle on life but mine broke off.

Don't take life too seriously you won't get out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I am not a complete idiot some parts are just missing.

Out of my mind but back in five minutes.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

It is as bad as you think, and yes they are out to get you.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

They call it PMS because Mad Cow disease was already taken.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I don't have to be dead to donate my organ!

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless still dead.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times the memory.

The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

Computer programmers don't byte they just nibble a bit.

My wild oats have turned to Shredded Wheat.

The meek shall inherit the earth after we're through ruining it.

Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.

Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Some of you people are alive only because my Mommy took my chemistry set away.

I masturbate frequently do you wanna watch?

Failure is not an option; it comes bundled with the software.

Consciousness is that annoying time between naps and sex.

Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.

Calling the Geek Squad has a whole new meaning for ‘Butt Plug.’

Being bi-sexual means your queer when it’s convenient.

How would you like a beat down?

Go smell some dirty panties.

Lets play, I’ll be Bat Girl and you be Batman now take me for a spin in my bat cave.

Sorry baby I just got here and you’re at least a 6-beer date.

Your mother trained you well you are a real bitch!

The next time you need to check your oil, just walk up to some Muslim Towel Head and rip that rag off his head, use it, but remember, be polite return it to him. After all we don’t want to offend these little ignorant useless ass wipe terrorist bastards. It wouldn’t be friggin politically correct.

I don’t understand why people think Plato was so great. This is a guy who use to take young boys camping. Nowadays we put them in jail for that.

If I want to hear from an Asshole I will fart.

Ladies there isn’t anything wrong with casual sex, I love it myself, but of course soon you will get nicknames like Whore, Slut, Trollop, and a variety of others !!

Gee I just feel like having a ‘Virgin’ today, what about you?

Help reduce crime and increase police patrols in your area, burn down a Donut Shop today!

Remember boys and girls don’t mess with a nuclear bomb it can suck the paint off your house and give you an orange afro all at the same time.

Remember, NEVER allow a Muslim in a zoo. He will want to hump the Camels and mate the Baboons.