Sunday, October 7, 2007

Homer Simpson says, duh, Jack, duh

1 comment:

The Wiseman, Jack Himself said...

Ladies never take a Cowboy’s Gun out of his holster unless you’re fully prepared it may go off.

Never do Tequila Shooters within a country mile of a marriage chapel.

So I hear you got drunk at your sister’s wedding, took your pants off, and yelled, “I’ll have sloppy seconds.”

You are the Dahlia Lama of morons.

If Men are such Pigs, what does that say about the Women who fuck us?

Do us all a favor will you, slither away and die.

Hey baby what do say we exchange some body fluids?

Damn girl is there nothing you won’t do free?

Girl after looking at you I realize ‘Hangovers’ do come true.

Girl your wholes have seen more use than a pothole on a busy street.

You fat cow if I had your ass full of quarters I’d be richer than Bill Gates.

Ladies you make sure your man cleans his tool before he puts it away.

I hear you and your pillow are planning a family.

Damn you can run faster than a black guy at a KKK rally.

You little shit I’ll kick your ass so hard your family will feel it.

Clothes cause people to be indifferent to others, so shed your clothes today, but run like hell because you’re probably going to be arrested.

Hey baby lets make some music, I’ll bang your symbols and you blow on my horn.

Hey the next time you’re bored just run out and piss on a police car.

I see you have overcome that age-old concept that doing more than one thing at a time is difficult. I hear you jerk off with one hand while using the other hand to move your mouse surfing porn sites and are still able to fog up the monitor with your heavy breathing.

Hey girl how would you like to lick my fungus infested feet?

I see you have gone where no cartoon character has gone before.

Was your marriage premeditated or just a drive by?

Your in need of serious surgery, I suggest hooter augmentation, an ass lift, and a tummy tuck using a garden hose.

Why don’t you pretend to be a Muslim and go lick a Camel’s ass.

I was considering making you the mother of my children then I got a reality check.

Remember there isn’t any Tits and Ass on the radio, at least that you can see.

There are Muslim Whores coming soon to a street corner near you.

Excuse me doll but can I suck the milk out of your coconuts?

Hey little girl if I promise not to fuck your Mommy will you lick my balls?

Muslims are nothing but a bunch of wus pus useless ugly smelling cunt pansy asses who should be exterminated from the planet.

Now lets NOT do anything stressful like thinking it will just make your brain hurt.

Baby take your panties off, run them up my flagpole, and I’ll sale into your love canal.

Freud said there is NO mistakes in life. He obviously never saw what happens when you forget to use birth control.

Hey its Memorial Day girl be patriotic, come over here and polish my flag pole.

I’m just so damn SEXY !!

If you think your bedroom is the seat of your soul, you have a rude awakening coming.

Hey take those panties off, change into your secret identity, and become that ‘SEX Toy’ for the US Navy.

If you worry about your looks all the time you are vane, but more importantly you will have an ulcer soon because old age is a given not an option.

Since you know everything and your parents are stupid, please pack your bags and leave now so you can show us dummies how to get rich and save the world at the same time.

Look skunk breath get some mouthwash.

I hear you took on the whole football team, now half of them are missing after entering that Bermuda Triangle of yours.

If you think about SEX regularly you are normal. If you don’t you must be from some alien world and should not consort with the rest of the human race.

Politics is like Marriage no matter who you choose it turns out bad.