Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Homer





says,
"Jack is Great, Jack is Wonderful."

1 comment:

Jack reminding us of life said...

Ladies if you want to give your Man that ‘Perfect Gift’ then go to the local hardware 
or home improvement store and get him a left handed crescent wrench. They are 
very very hard to find so you may have to do some running around to get one, but 
it will be greatly appreciated I a sure you.

Done ... the seventeenth day of September, in the year of our 
LORD one thousand seven hundred and eighty seven." 
-- Closing line of the U.S. Constitution.

‘Mix Marriage’ isn’t that where a Catholic girl marries a Jewish boy and the Priest 
sings ‘If I were a young man’ at the wedding?

Maggot, I didn’t give you permission to read my ‘Thoughts’ now drop and give 
me 20.

I gave my secretary a new pair of those vibrating panties but she keeps sliding off 
her chair.

Your Mommy dropped you repeatedly on your head when you was a baby now 
didn’t she?

You couldn’t get laid in an over crowded city morgue.

Hey, you’re slicker than snot on a glass door handle.

Girls don’t worry if you can’t swallow all my cum I can deposit the remaining 
balance on your tits.

Eight to eighty, crippled or crazy bring them on because the worse piece 
of ‘ASS’ I ever had was Great!

You would talk like Elmer Fudd too if your cock was as big as mine.

Ladies remember it takes two hands to handle a ‘Whopper.’

Barbra Streisand a Hollywood liberal cunt with shit for brains and a sewer 
mouth to match.

Your silly ass problem is ‘NO’ concern to me so go tell someone who gives a shit.

A Whore by any other name ... slut, tramp, prostitute, streetwalker, urchin, exotic 
dancer, escort, bimbo, go go dancer, harlot, cock hole, trollop, fornicator, call girl, 
hooker, scarlet, bad girl, night queen, scamp, pay babe, bar girl, night walker, etc ... 
is still a WHORE!

Do I want a ‘Tiger in My Tank?’ I can’t even get pussy in the back seat.

I tried eating pussy once but that damn cat almost scratched my eyes out.

The trouble with these new razor blades is all I wanted was a clean shave 
not a self-sacrifice.

Wine Coolers are for that other fucking guy.

All I know is she asked me if I wanted a fuzzy naval and the next thing I new 
she kicked me in the balls.

Hey the next time someone invites you for a Dairy Queen you could end up at 
an all night queer bar.

The age-old question isn’t why Bill Clinton had an affair, just look at ‘Hillary’ 
for that answer. The question is why did he have affairs with such ugly bitches?

I hear you went out for the track team. You couldn’t go a mile in the back of a 
pickup truck.

The reason Davy Crocket wore a coonskin hat is to keep his dick warm at 
night and remind him of his wife at home.

I’d rip your head off and shit down your neck but I see your all ready FULL!

You look like what the dog drug through the keyhole and the cat refused to 
play with.

You don’t need to put that letter of resignation in writing just go into your boss’s 
office and shit on his desk, he’ll get the message.

Ugly people breed ugly children .. fat people breed fat children .. and Fat Ugly 
People breed Fat Ugly Children.

Hey girl, I hear you won ‘Customer of the Week’ at the Free Clinic.

You’re so damn ugly you would make the most heroic generals raise 
the White Flag!

You are so stupid you have to call your own phone so you can leave 
yourself reminder messages.

What’s the last sound a ‘Pubic Hair’ makes before hitting the floor? 
Just SPIT and you’ll know.