Monday, July 30, 2007

Archimedes says, Jack's Insults are the greatest

1 comment:

Some of Jack's Daily Little Insults said...

Having a ‘To Do List’ that includes robbing the bank today isn’t a very good idea.

Yelling at God doesn’t help I know I’ve tried it!

This would be a pretty good planet to live on if it wasn’t for all you stinking filthy 

Being an asshole has its advantages you won’t ever have any friends that disappoint you. Because you just won't have any, friends that is!

Always date a woman with ‘Small Hands’ it makes your cock look bigger.

They show you on TV how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a 
T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

Having your head up your ass doesn’t mean it’s another cloudy day, it just means 
your fucking stupid you brainless little twit.

If ‘Your Wife’s Pussy’ smells like your dog’s breath you may have a bigger problem 
than you realize.

Tough Titty said the baby but the milk is damn good.

My aching SUV, gasoline prices are rising again. Damn I can’t get my cock to rise 
this often.

Save a horse Ride a cowboy today.

Golf a game where morons abound. What other sport or game in the world would you 
hit a ball and then go chase it.

For those of you who don’t believe that ‘Aliens’ walk among us, ‘Have you ever taken 
a good look at Dennis Rodman?’

It is better to die on one's feet than to live on one's knees, unless that is you give 
blowjobs for a living.

Excuse Me, ‘Eat Shit and Die.’

Don’t piss down my back and try and tell me it’s raining.

Ahhh, go stick it in your Funk and Wagnall.

My woman was complaining about our lack of romance, so I tongued her ear, she 
stopped me, got a tissue and wiped it out, so I French kissed her in a deep throat 
fashion with my tongue and she started choking, so then I kiss her scared lips and 
licked her with my tongued until she purred like a little kitten. Guess I showed her 
the important aspects of real romance.

Men your part, ‘Help Stomp Out Virgins.’

The people that say ‘MONEY Isn’t Everything’ are the assholes with all the money, 
and they certainly don’t want to share it with the likes of you.

Excuse me Madam, “Would you mind terribly if I tied you up and had my way with you?”

American Idol Contestants .. they came, they sang, they made an ass out of themselves.

Hey ‘Moron’ yeah you … If you stick one thumb in your mouth and the other up your 
ass you will have the perfect vacuum.

Being a Redneck isn’t so bad if you look at some of the today’s lifestyle alternatives 
that are out there. For example: Like being a Queer, or a Liberal, or a member of N.O.W. 
or P.E.T.A, or being a Muslim. Hell you may be a Queer Muslim Liberal and be a member 
of NOW and PETA. I’d personally rather be a good old fashion American Redneck ... 
What about you?

Ohhh YES baby, ‘Spank the Monkey.’

THE WALKING DEAD is being reactivated due to the war on terrorism.

Peter Longpoke is my name and Sex is my game.

He played you like a worn out violin.

The Best Way to Pick a Fight with a U.S. MARINE is ask him "What Navy Base 
are you pulling guard duty at?”

Oh baby I’d love to get lost in your Bermuda Triangle!

Your attitude and personality has about as much effect on someone as a fart in a 

Attention: The winner of the ladies tennis championships gets to suck my cock!

I always say, “Joke’m if they can’t take a FUCK.”