If your clone kills you, is that suicide? In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills? In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so? Is a metaphor like a simile? Is Lever 2000 soap Y2K compliant? Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live? Is there another word for synonym? May I refuse to inherit the earth? On Gilligan's Island, if the professor could build a radio out of coconut, why couldn't he fix a hole in the boat? Practice makes perfect, but if nobody's perfect, why practice? Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent? Shouldn't the cosmic stupidity hopper be empty by now? Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking? Was today really necessary? What is Preparation A through Preparation G? What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep? What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane? What does the hotcake seller say when his hotcakes are selling quickly? What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? What happened to the first 6 'ups'? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? What happens to an 18-hour bra after 18 hours? What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about? Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up? Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong? Why do we say that an alarm goes 'off?' Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? Why does bottled water have an expiration date? Why is Greenland icy, and Iceland green? Why is ice always colder than popsicles? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? Why do they report power outages on TV? Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars? Why do doctors call what they do practice? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Why do gas stations lock their bathrooms? Are they afraid that someone is going to clean them? Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight? Why do hotdogs' come in a package 12 and the hotdog rolls come in a package of 8? Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on? Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? Why do skydivers wear helmets? Why do they call it instant credit when it actually means instant debt? Why do they call it life insurance? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? You laugh on the outside, but inside you harbor a bitter resentment toward people who have enough money for food. Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire. Do not blame others for making you mad. Anger is a choice. Choose wisely. Don't believe that sort of rubbish, unless you hear it from me Don’t bother wasting your time on people who don’t like you a fight to the death between zombies has a few inherent problems. A lost property office is for people to return things they find and don't want. An egotist has one point in his favor - he doesn't go around talking about other people! An eternity is very, very long, especially towards the end. Bibles that are falling apart usually belong to people who are not. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children if we all are here to help others, then what exactly are others here for?
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