Wednesday, July 2, 2008

President George W. Bush

"I should of had Jack in my Cabinet to insult all those damn useless Arabs."

1 comment:

Dubya said...

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

How do you know when yogurt goes bad?

How do you remove a club soda stain?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

How much would they pay the matador if the bull had no horns?

If 7-11 is open 24-7 and 365 days a year why do they have locks on their doors?

If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success?

If a cigarette smoker wakes up from a 7-year coma, does he want a cigarette?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

If a sheep is called a ram, and a donkey's called an ass, then why is a ram up the ass called a goose?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

If a tree falls on a mime in the forest, does anyone care? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on earth?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

If atheists say there is no God, who do they think pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If con is the opposite of pro, then what is the opposite of progress?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If God created everything who created God?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If it's 0 degrees today, and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, cold will it be?

If it's called a boxing RING, then why are they square?

If knees were backward, what would chairs look like?

If knowledge is power and power corrupts, doesn't knowledge corrupt?

If knowledge is power, and power corrupts, and corruption is crime, and crime doesn’t pay... Does knowledge, in the end, leave you broke?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't they do it best by not torturing themselves? - And if so, aren't we all masochists?

If Mike Brady was supposed to be this groovy architect, why did he force SIX kids into TWO bedrooms?

If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?

If Mr. & Mrs. Howell were so dang rich, why were they taking a cheap tour on a the S.S. Minnow?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If our legs were hinged the other way, what would furniture look like?

If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, who's the idiot that said: Quit while you're ahead?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

If Snow White and Cinderella both married Prince Charming, did they marry the same guy?

If superman can block bullets with his chest then why did he duck when a gun was thrown at him?

If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If the only thing to survive a plane crash is the black box, why don't they