Friday, June 29, 2007

The Wisdom of Kelly Bundy, from the TV Show, Married with Childen

1 comment:

Kelly Bundy said...

Famous Quotes and One Liners from Kelly Bundy, a true dumb blonde, that we all love so much ….

Quoth the raven, Demi Moore.

I must fly like the beagle.

Your words roll off me like water off a duck's quack.

This is what I spent all those years learning my ABDs for?

L.A.!? We're going to Long Island!?

Daddy, I have heat probation.

I'm sure in your next life you're going to be reincarcerated.

As a great Eastern religion says, it's all about striking a balance between the ping and the pong.

Well, arrivedouche.

Once the Earth goes, the planet's gonna be next.

I must run like the stocking.

Oh no! Mom has Indonesia!

I know, you could have knocked me down with the weather!

If you don't let me do this I'll hold my breast till I turn blue!

He who laughs last, laughs west.

Of course the Soviet Union was bound to fall! It's on the edge of the map!

I didn't come all this way to spend my vacation in a one-whore town.

Your honor, I am here to defend my daddy.
"D" is for daddy.
"A" is for daddy.
"D" is for daddy.
"Y" is for daddy.
"I" is for daddy.
"We" is for daddy.
The defense breasts.

You're like the pessimist, who looks at his pants and thinks they're half empty. You should be more like the optometrist, who looks through his glasses and thinks they're half full.

I thought that "Roman candles" just meant that they were imported. You know, from Romany.

I just hope he doesn't make a testicle out of himself.

Mom, I hope when you say "We" you actually mean "Oui," which is French for:
"Yes, please take over our country while we wait in hiding." Ergo - which is
French for: "please take our land but let us live to make our creamy sauces" -
I say that we bid Daddy "adieu" - which is French for "a deer, a female deer."

Kelly: Far and wide, I will search for the "E."
Bud: That's "I will search for thee," you idiot!
Kelly: Oh. "I will search for thee, you idiot!"

Today Chicago, tomorrow's Saturday.

Kelly: Tonight, I become a lesbian.
Peggy: No, honey, you mean thespian.

Since studying at his feet, now I too can soar with the beagles.

Yeah, and I'm the simpleton? Tricking them was as easy as 1, 2, C.

Yeah, we're really sick, Mom! I think we have Monte Cristo's Revenge!

You know that saying, "Feet are cold, starve for pizza"? Or was it, "Starve for pizza, eat cold feet"?

Daddy, you know I haven't worn pantyhose since I was seven.

I am blind like the mighty oak.

According to team rules, the vote has to be unanimous.
It can be unanimous OR out loud.

It's just like I said in my fourth grade essay, "Daddy Go Sleep Now."

Kelly: Topeka! I have found it!
Peggy: I don't think you mean "Topeka."
Kelly: Oh yeah. Urethra! I have found it!

Modeling is such a great job! Maybe I could be one of the ones in store windows.

Ever since Renee, models from Iman to Cheryl Tiegs have only had one name!

Oh my god, oh my god! I've always wanted to drive to Europe!